2-18-16 My day of complete healing. Sometimes you feel the worst before things are better. (Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24)  Sometimes you have to believe even when circumstances are against what you are believing. I have a desire to be healed and I believe I will receive my healing, in the Lord’s time, and He will see me through until then.

2-19-16 Friday. Thought for the day “DO NOT GIVE UP”. Today I was faced with many challenges, this was the most important. I had placed some money in an account to use for my housing remodeling, but couldn’t find the “debit” card associated with it and I had people coming in the morning to make an installment. After looking during the day and praying, I came home and looked everywhere I thought it might be. I had decided I would call the bank in the morning and cancel that card and have a new one ordered, this would not help me tomorrow. Just before giving up I prayed again and the Lord showed me where to look. He brought it back to my remembrance. (But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. John 14:26)  TYL the power to remember.

2-25-16 After having my daily devotion, and the normal preparation of Chris and I, my friend came to go with me to find out the results from yesterday’s CT Scan. I was not fearful of the results, but I was very emotional. We prayed and she read aloud. Lamentations 3:22 - 57 with emphasis on verse 57 (Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidst, Fear not. Lamentations 3:57) There still had not been much change in overall size. We were encouraged that it has not gotten any larger.

2-26-16 (Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.  Psalm 34:19) Today after my treatment I was not feeling good. I started to call for a ride, but believed I could make with the help of the Lord. I decided to get something to eat and had several places in mind. I stopped at Applebee's for some rib tips. The waitress was so nice about checking on me. She could  see there was something wrong, so I told her I had just come from treatment but I was alright. She stopped by my table several time to see if I needed anything and when she was not busy came and sat with me. I heard her tell some other customers she had a son and mentioned the church they attended. The next time she sat down I proceeded to give her the “very short” version of my journey. She looked at me and gave me these encouraging words “God must really like you and know you can handle this”. I told her with God’s help we all can handle whatever is sent our way. I found out she was a single mother raising 3 boys between the ages of 17 and 12. At the end of our time together, we exchanged hugs and how we had encouraged each other. She asked me to come again and that she would stop in to see me at work from time to time. God is truly amazing. Applebee’s was not my first or second choice as the place to eat, but it was God’s! TYL

2016 A New Year, a new look at this journey. We are all on a journey of life, if you don’t think you are check again. It is how we choose to walk our journey. The journey is always changing minute by the minute. TYL for walking with me. I could not do it without you and don’t want to try. (In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion. Psalm 71:1)  

I believe this year will have so many different challenges that I must remember where to put my trust. It is the Lord who has given man the desire and knowledge to study and find ways to help us His people. But their knowledge can go just so far and then it is up to the Lord. TYL for the people in the medical field and the desire they have to make our lives better.

1-14-16 My first treatment this year. I have been asked why I have not talked much about the side effects and the discomfort of my new life. It is my understanding that everyone is different and their side effects and discomfort could be different, so I would rather dwell on positive, things of encouragement. (Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. 1 Thessalonians 5:11)

1-23-16 Today is Saturday, my birthday. I stayed up until midnight last night to thank the Lord for allowing me to enter into another physical year. I had my treatment on Thursday and can’t think of anything special I want. I told my family I just want to see or hear from them. Family and friends, that is what is important to me not trips or stuff. TYL for this day and the joy of being able to share it with family and friends. I will say that because of the way foods taste, I have no desire for cake and ice cream. (Smile)

THANKSGIVING:  This year we gathered together in Mississippi. How thankful we are to be together again. TYL After my recent CT scan there was a change in my chemo treatment. Where I was on two different medicines, the treatments have been decreased to just one medicine.  I am not sure at this time if that was a good thing, it seems I am much weaker and more sensitive than before. It is strange having Thanksgiving dinner without dessert, but sweets just made me extremely nauseated. Discontinuing the more aggressive medicine makes since, but I thought I would feel better, I guess my body has to make another adjustment. I know the Lord will continue to help me through this change. I am just grateful to be able to make the trip, enjoy seeing and being around my family, they are what keep me fighting.   (Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength: Isaiah 26:4)  

Flashback: I remember daddy asking for certain foods and then after getting

them just taking a few bites and apologizing for not wanting any more. 

I understand now, it just didn’t taste like he remembered.

12-7-15 I was in conversation with a co-worker about finding the crack in the basement and today she and her husband came and sealed it. He told me if I had any other problems I would need to call a professional. They said it was their gift of appreciation to me. TYL and continue to bless them and their family.

12-9-15 The man that works on my air conditioner and heater came today to fix the heater vent. I don’t know how long the vent had been open, now the all of the heat will come into the ducts like is should. TYL this should lower my heating bills.

12-29-15 Sometimes when we are trying to console others the Lord might just have an eye-opening experience for us. That is what happened when my son wanted to talk about his father and I. In answering his questions, the Lord opened my eyes to my past. I was able to understand a little more about myself, some of my actions and ask Him for forgiveness. Even though I thought I had asked for forgiveness, there were some things that were much deeper that needed to be revealed. When this understanding happened, true forgiveness could be asked for and healing start. I believe this will also helped the cycle stop. TYL

12-31-15 The end of another year. As I watch the clock and prepare to give thanks for His blessings and trials of 2015, I also pray for His mercy and understanding in the year 2016. WOW  Looking for greater things to praise the Lord about in 2016. (From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the Lord's name is to be praised. Psalm 113:3)

Let’s pray for a safe and blessed New Year.

11-6-15 I have been trying to figure out who and how I was going to get my basement cleaned out. I know there is mold, that isn’t good for any of us, from the basement leaking for years. I know I needed it done, but really didn’t have the money to get it done professionally and didn’t want to subject anyone unprofessionally to the mold. I received a letter of “cancellation of debt” for the medical bill that I had taken the loan out for, so I called and got two estimates. Amazing, one was too high and the other was exactly what had been forgiven. So I was able to use the money for the medical need of getting the basement properly treated and cleaned. TYL for making a way again. (I, even I, have spoken; yea, I have called him: I have brought him,and he shall make his way prosperous. Isaiah 48:15)

11-8-15 As I stood looking out my kitchen window, upset that my son’s father who was now living across the street didn’t even stop by, put a card in the mailbox or anything for him, I watched while he work on another woman’s car. I was allowing myself to get deep in anxiety when I heard the Lord say “Are you going to look out and lose out”. I quickly thought about how good He has been to me since August, 22 and closed the shades to the window and went to another room. I said a prayer and realized, sometime we can look ourselves out of our next blessing, by losing focus on the ultimate goal. TYL  (The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it. Proverbs 10:22)

11-11-15 CT scan day. Also, today they started clearing the basement of mold.

11-12-15 The moving of the growth. Today we received results from my last CT scan. The doctor is in awe that although the overall size of the growth has not changed much, it seems to have shifted more to the right side of my liver. TYL for showing nothing is impossible for you. (And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible. Mark 10:27)

11-13-15 Yes the Lord truly knows our strengths and weaknesses. My son’s father moved out of the neighborhood. I don’t have to concern myself with that situation anymore. TYL

11-19-15 They are finally finished with basement. While they were working we got some rain and they were able to find where the water was coming in. It was only one crack in the wall of the foundation. They do not replace the walls, which is good, so I decided to wait until after the spring rains to make any reconstructive repairs. TYL the basement is clear and the problem is exposed.

10-1-15 Had treatment today, doctor is still amazed how I am getting around. We have talked about what happens after the 10-29-15 treatment. The plan is to get another CT scan and be able to discontinue the stronger of the two drugs, this is the one with the most side effects. However, the treatment cycle would continue as is. I continue to look to God for my strength and was glad to hear there would be another CT scan soon. Whatever the results I must continue to put my trust in the Lord. TYL (The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1)

10-5-15 First I want to say my left foot has been numb free for a week. TYL Now back to God helping me stand my ground on finishing another chapter in my son’s father’s saga. After seeing he had purchased a new phone and equipment totaling over $600.00 in addition to the phone that had not been paid off, I couldn’t let this drag on any further. God helped me be firm about meeting with him tonight and getting almost all of his phone charges transferred off my account. Well, it seemed the phone representative did not understand it was to be his phone service as well as all of the equipment, so I still have the original phone on my bill, but it is less than one third of what it could have been. TYL I stopped by my youngest son’s house and told them I realize they needed all their money to pay rent so not to worry about this half of the car payment. Later after I got home, I’m not sure why I checked my account, but the funds were available from a loan I applied for on 9-23-15 through my job to help with some medical bills. I was told it could take up to three weeks before I would hear anything. TYL  I was wondering what I was going to do for groceries because I had just enough to cover my tithes check. Now I can pay my tithes, buy what we need and be able to help my youngest with some groceries also. They have been helping me in so many ways. TYL (But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19)

HE IS TRULY BETTER TO ME THAN I WAS EVER TO MYSELF. I CAN SAY

I AM LEARNING TO TOTALLY DEPEND ON HIM FOR ALL THINGS.  TYL